The comfort you feel when she is near.
The love you feel.
The cool embrace
Like a blanket you keep by the foot of your bed
so it doesn’t overwhelm you with its warmth.
Like the crack you leave in the panes of the windows
So your room doesn’t feel trapped.
Nothing is right when she’s gone.
You want to be near her.
Troubling though it seems,
You wish to be suffocated
Wrapped.
Smothered.
Comforted.
Strangled.
Smuggled.
You wish you could put her in a pocket
Or at least fit in hers
You don’t want to be thrown around as the wind sees fit but you are.
No amount of struggling will stop it.
You flutter like a sheet of paper in the monsoon
But you are not paper
Even the strongest foundations shudder under such pressure.
You feel but do not register a response.
The doctors wonder why,
Your friends wonder why,
She
Does
Not
Wonder
For she knows
She sees
She feels
She is the comforting smell of home on your birthday.
The familiarity of your own arms
Wrapped around you.
If only you could hug yourself
You used to think;
as the bullies who do not know what they are to you
walked by the lunch table
Where you sat, headphones blaring in order to drown out the tinnitus of being alone.
She is the warm feeling on your stomach
After a bowl of soup on a warm day.
The burn never seems to satisfy you.
The coughing never seems to stop.
The monster is not under your bed,
It is in you
You feel it when you feel weakest;
In the line to receive your lunch,
Working to pay for it.
Sleeping next to someone special
The beast roars in your chest
Begging
Scratching
Clawing
Fighting
Losing
Because she is there.
She finds a way to soothe you.
Even if she doesn’t know how,
She finds a way.
Because she is there.
She doesn’t know that
She is the one person
That finished your puzzle;
That last piece you find in your kitchen
When you had thought it was hopeless.
She doesn’t complete you,
You were complete before she came along,
She just finally found the piece lost under the refrigerator
She never finds you puzzling
Even when you cant understand the words your brain is spouting
She hears and is able to play as the decoder ring
She is the prize at the end of the cereal box and she is
The prize
To save
For life
The thunder peals
Though you have never been scared of the way it sounds
Crackling through the night
You cuddle
A little closer
To her
Because
She
Is
There