I love this word. I think it’s bad for me sometimes, but I love it.
A friend of mine (hi, buddy) recently described me as a “drowner”- I drown my problems in goals that I become hyper-obsessed with. It’s accurate.
Growing up, I would cycle my obsessions around. I still do that now (see; this blog’s many rebrands, my podcast, youtube channel, my book progress tracker), but when I was a kid it was a lot more pronounced.
For a few months at a time, I would be an archaeologist. Then, I would get really in to the proper steeping of Earl Grey tea. Then, it would be the Transformers- all eras and characters, but mostly the Dinobots.
You get the picture.
I love the deep-dive of obsession. I love the circular effect of returning to old obsessions with a new perspective (I recently went back to the Transformers, for instance, because a lot of the adult storytelling of the franchise is actually pretty compelling these days). But I often forget the bad parts.
Obsession derails ongoing projects. Many books have not yet been finished because my obsession changed, and I decided to write in a project that I could dive into the “flavor” of the month.
I do drown my problems in external obsessions and goals. It helps me feel like that energy is moving somewhere.
I’m kind of meandering around the point.
Obsession has given me a lot of knowledge, and passion, for things that I treasure today. But I have a tendency to get carried away, as humans do. The tension between obsession, the fervor of motion and novelty of a skill or hobby, and the calm waters of rejuvenation and surrender, is something that I am trying to instill this year, or at least get better at. I don’t think this journey is ever completed, but it is one worth walking anyways.
Thanks for reading.